My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
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