i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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