Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I fill condoms, not promises.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
