Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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