And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
