You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
