How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just high enough for therapy.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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