biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
