Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize