tell your sister to shave her snatch
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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