Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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