I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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