Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
