i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
