You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
