I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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