The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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