There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
