first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
