Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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