school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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