mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize