this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
