Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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