Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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