I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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