are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
