...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
