Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
