Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize