I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
