What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I don't deserve a penis
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
