how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you win again, gameday.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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