went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
