I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
