i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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