I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
