Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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