Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
