i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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