Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize