Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
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