think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Randomize
