sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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