My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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