Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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