Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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