Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She has the best kind of daddy issues
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
