Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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