I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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