a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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