drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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