he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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