Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
