First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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