I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
