I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So squirting runs in the family.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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