oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
