Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(661): View more from California

if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.

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(661): if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies. http://tfl.nu/xdyr

Replies (27) Good night (854) Bad night (5664)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.

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(412): I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers. http://tfl.nu/htrv

Replies (38) Good night (950) Bad night (2287)
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(301): View more from Maryland

chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.

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(301): chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING. http://tfl.nu/oa1d

Replies (37) Good night (952) Bad night (5505)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!

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(402): The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE! http://tfl.nu/1ymk

Replies (63) Good night (1232) Bad night (8032)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.

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(612): I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate. http://tfl.nu/beue

Replies (40) Good night (1349) Bad night (7214)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.

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(651): Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real. http://tfl.nu/xrrz

Replies (12) Good night (993) Bad night (4334)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.

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(815): I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed. http://tfl.nu/hsgt

Replies (35) Good night (1930) Bad night (6885)
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(925): View more from California

I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.

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(925): I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible. http://tfl.nu/f1y0

Replies (7) Good night (3999) Bad night (961)
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(408): View more from California

we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.

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(408): we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good. http://tfl.nu/45si

Replies (3) Good night (2193) Bad night (1084)
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(260): View more from Indiana

Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days

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(260): Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days http://tfl.nu/vj5z

Replies (2) Good night (1919) Bad night (985)
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(519): View more from Ontario

He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.

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(519): He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka. http://tfl.nu/8f21

Replies (13) Good night (2630) Bad night (898)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.

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(402): Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low. http://tfl.nu/bkkz

Replies (9) Good night (1540) Bad night (1799)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.

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(920): Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling. http://tfl.nu/jjpj

Replies (33) Good night (2476) Bad night (1262)
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(360): View more from Washington

Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.

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(360): Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home. http://tfl.nu/g7t7

Replies (8) Good night (1728) Bad night (736)
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(260): View more from Indiana

Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.

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(260): Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message. http://tfl.nu/4llk

Replies (1) Good night (736) Bad night (337)

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