ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
