gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
do herpes really smell.
She's allergic to latex.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx