Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
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I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
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It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.