Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.

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(805): at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle. http://tfl.nu/34ph

Replies (64) Good night (1192) Bad night (3170)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth

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(919): It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth http://tfl.nu/y1ni

Replies (23) Good night (545) Bad night (5090)
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(517): View more from Michigan

she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK

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(517): she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK http://tfl.nu/ybgq

Replies (65) Good night (947) Bad night (8914)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do

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(859): you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do http://tfl.nu/7olq

Replies (5) Good night (5348) Bad night (1422)
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(602): View more from Arizona

One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them

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(602): One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them http://tfl.nu/t9s2

Replies (8) Good night (3446) Bad night (1088)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night

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(608): Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night http://tfl.nu/2p0f

Replies (1) Good night (1430) Bad night (708)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.

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(651): I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his. http://tfl.nu/2lgm

Replies (15) Good night (2551) Bad night (789)
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(561): View more from Florida

I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.

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(561): I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk. http://tfl.nu/i2nj

Replies (3) Good night (1031) Bad night (492)
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(618): View more from Illinois

College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.

(1-618): View more from Illinois

This is true but you can't really get fired from college

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(618): College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one. (1-618): This is true but you can't really get fired from college http://tfl.nu/z0cp

Replies (3) Good night (1389) Bad night (550)
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(647): View more from Ontario

i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night

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(647): i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night http://tfl.nu/8b8u

Replies (6) Good night (506) Bad night (1336)
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(541): View more from Oregon

After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.

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(541): After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave. http://tfl.nu/k4g0

Replies (5) Good night (821) Bad night (1055)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed

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(306): I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed http://tfl.nu/ufxs

Replies (1) Good night (514) Bad night (279)
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(253): View more from Washington

We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.

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(253): We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken. http://tfl.nu/e42q

Replies (4) Good night (793) Bad night (318)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.

(563): View more from Iowa

How is that low? I love carrots.

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(720): I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low. (563): How is that low? I love carrots. http://tfl.nu/c1zp

Replies (0) Good night (807) Bad night (218)
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(760): View more from California

Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.

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(760): Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick. http://tfl.nu/b7j5

Replies (1) Good night (736) Bad night (219)

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