nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The air was thick with penises
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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