I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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