Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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