At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
