do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
